5 Things I Wish I’d Known Before Decluttering Our Home
Before decluttering our home (aka “letting go of over 75% of our possessions in a year”), I thought I had this jettisoning-possessions thing figured out.
It was October of 2018 and I’d decided to jump on the minimalist bandwagon, which actually was more like a life-raft than a wagon, promising to pull me out of postpartum depression and overwhelm.
I knew my excess stuff was weighing me down and had to go.
How hard could it be?
Collect the random trinkets and tchotchkes, place them in the donate box, and send them off to a new life far, far away from our canary yellow rental home.
Turns out, planning to declutter and actually decluttering are two distinct things. In deciding I’d simply box up my massive amount of excess stuff, I had not considered things like: where to start my decluttering efforts, how to make time to actually do it (I had a baby and a four-year-old at the time), and what to do when I couldn’t let go because of cognitive or emotional roadblocks.
Ignorance was bliss, until I realized it wasn’t. So, I signed up for several decluttering courses in search of letting-go guidance.
While the courses got me started, it turns out—no surprise here—that experience was the best teacher.
And after maintaining a decluttered home for five years now (with a family of six), I want to share with you five things I wish I’d known before decluttering our home in hopes that it helps you on your simplicity journey.
Here are 5 things I’d wish I’d known before decluttering our home:
1. Decluttering is about more than your possessions
Before decluttering our home, I thought the only thing I’d be letting go of was my stuff. Turns out, possessions just line the surface of letting go. Once you remove your excess physical stuff, you unveil other areas of your life that need to be decluttered: your calendar, your mind, your heart, your habits, your relationships.
Often, our physical clutter is a physical manifestation of what’s going on inside of us. Removing outer clutter gives us more space (and time) to observe and address our inner clutter.
Maybe decluttering your closet reveals your attachment to caring what others think—you bought most of those outfits to “fit in,” not because they aligned with your personal style. Maybe decluttering your bedroom uncovers that you’re habitually hurried or stuck in “doing mode.” Perhaps, previously, you didn’t have a true place of rest in your home because you didn’t think you deserved it.
In the words of Eleanor Brown, “Clutter is not just physical stuff. It’s old ideas, toxic relationships, and bad habits. Clutter is anything that does not support your better self.”
It’s in letting go of both the outer and inner clutter that real lightness is found.
2. The best place to start decluttering your home is in the area causing you the most stress
Before decluttering our home, I’d read the best place to start my possession-pitching efforts was in a contained, non-sentimental area like a bathroom drawer. Soon, I had a couple tidy drawers while entropy ensued everywhere else. In short, those bathroom drawers did nothing to pull me from overwhelm or motivate me to declutter more.
The place to start my decluttering efforts, I realized, was the clutter category causing me the most stress. I had to tackle the “bane of my existence” head on, which for me was kids’ clothes. Once I’d decluttered kids’ clothes, I felt an immediate lightening in our home. (One that I never felt with the bathroom drawers.) My stress levels had noticeably lowered; I was motivated to declutter the next category.
Once I began decluttering by stress-inducing stuff categories, I finally realized every minute spent decluttering was an investment in a more meaningful, lighter life.
3. Letting go of possessions can be harder than expected
Before decluttering our home, I was so motivated to go minimalist that I imagined I’d clear our clutter without any hiccups. I was great at packing things up, but the actual letting go part of decluttering was unnatural and arduous. Every feeling from guilt to fear arose.
I thought I needed to keep things simply because I saw them often, which made me feel like they belonged in our home (this is called the mere exposure effect). I realized I was also overvaluing things I owned simply because I was their owner (the endowment effect) and, therefore, didn’t want to let them go.
The most powerful way I found to loosen attachments to physical possessions was with time. I began hiding my boxes of unneeded stuff for a couple of months. When I didn’t see the items in these.boxes daily, I realized life was lighter without them. After two months it became much easier to drop the boxes off at the donation site.
4. The possessions you own should support your life—now
Before decluttering our home, I thought I needed to keep many possessions from various stages of life. I needed to hold onto those jeans just in case they came back in style. I needed to keep all those souvenirs, photos, and even baby clothes because they held my memories.
Problem is, if you hold onto too much from your past, then you stay in… the past. Old stuff distracts you from the present. And the present—right now— is the only place life is happening. Hold on to too much old stuff and you will miss out on your life.
Owning possessions that support your life now helps you show up more fully in it. Let go of clothing you think you “should” keep or that makes you feel bad. Keep only your favorite sentimental items—your memories are in you, not your stuff.
Truth is, you don’t miss the stuff you let go of—you’ve outgrown it. Letting go propels you into your best life, which is happening now.
5. Decluttering is a journey
Before decluttering our home, I didn’t realize living a decluttered life would become a mindset, a lifestyle—a compass that would shape the trajectory of my life’s path.
Decluttering is a journey that changes you. It’s transformed the way I look at possessions (as necessary tools, not keys to my happiness), revamped my purchasing habits, helped deepen my spiritual life, and reduced the influence I feel from marketers.
I’ve decided that “lightly” is the best way to journey through life. I’m constantly moving deeper into minimalism, questioning our possessions, and fixing my focus more on the unseen and the eternal things that matter most.
In conclusion
Before decluttering our home, I couldn’t have envisioned the freedom found in living an uncluttered life.
Yes, life still has bumps—minimalism is no magic wand. But when stress levels decrease and time/energy increase, problems are easier to navigate.
If you’re at the outset of your decluttering journey, or if you’re about to restart your journey down simplicity’s path, I want to encourage you. The benefits of an uncluttered home—and life—far outweigh any initial unknowns.
Dive in—all in. Decluttering your life is an adventure you won’t regret.
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