Big Picture Minimalism: Two Questions to Help You Let Go of Your Stuff

A couple weekends ago my husband and I had what I would call an “outside of the box” date night. With subzero Kansas City temperatures and ongoing Covid restrictions we decided to spend it… decluttering. 

Okay, so it was my idea, but he remarkably agreed. We hired a sitter and spent two solid hours going through our stuff. I was having So. Much. Fun.

Until my hands landed on a pink and black, polk-a-dot Minnie Mouse swimsuit, size 12 months. I was sideswiped by an intensely sentimental feeling.

“Remember when Eva wore this her first time in the pool?” I asked nostalgically. 

“Yeah,” he said. “I’d get rid of it.”

“What, why?” I replied, clearly caught off guard. Now remember, spending our date night decluttering was my idea, and here he was wanting to part with more than I did. I was stunned.

“Because someone else could use it. It’s not doing anyone any good sitting here in storage.”

Truth. 

But for a moment I was stuck. To let go or not to let go? 

While we weren’t getting rid of every kid-related item just yet (doesn’t seem prudent if you’re hoping for more), we certainly didn’t need to keep it all. Including the swimsuit.

I finally moved through my indecision by asking myself two questions. These questions help me keep the big picture in mind by reminding me: 1) My unused and unloved things could meet someone else’s need. 2) My memories are not held in my stuff.

These questions are my go-to’s when I feel stuck during decluttering, and I bet they could help you too. 

Here are two questions to ask yourself to become “unstuck” while decluttering:

1. How can this item be used for a greater good?

The real freedom in minimalism doesn’t just come from unburdening yourself from stuff. Sure you gain more free time and free space when you de-own possessions, but there’s more. The real freedom in minimalism comes from interior detachment—when you realize we are just stewards of stuff.

Stewards are overseers or supervisors. People with the power to decide how best to use the items entrusted to them. Stewards have a responsibility, a duty to act. And so do we. 

When we realize we are simply stewards of our stuff, we then have the interior freedom to act in a way that blesses others. We are able to see our possessions through the lens of detachment and, because we’re not bound by our possessions, we’re able act in a way that benefits society as a whole. 

Try looking at an item that’s hard to part with through an “I’m-just-a-steward” lens. You’ve been entrusted this specific possession during your journey through life. You won’t have it forever and, when your time here is done, you certainly can’t take it with you. So how can you bring the greatest good out of it?

Could you:

• Give it away and bless someone else with it?
• Chuck it because the good in it has already been used?
• Keep it and use it for a greater good?

2. Is this item grabbing onto my heart and why does it have a hold?

Checking in with our hearts can give us answers as to why something is difficult to part with. Put your hand on your heart, take a deep breath and listen. Feel whatever feelings are stirring and ask yourself why this item has a hold on you. 

For so many of us, the reason we hold onto something isn’t because we need it, or even because we want it, but because it gives us some sense of security. We struggle to loosen our grip on an object just in case we need it again. 

We tell ourselves we will have peace when we have enough stuff or the “right” stuff. As if one more purchase will placate our lack. We hold onto this illusion of “stuff security,” and begin believing our well-being is dependent on what we own. Soon we are no longer free, living so attached to our possessions that they begin to own us. Real security and real happiness aren’t found in our stuff. 

When faced with a hard-to-part-with possession, consider these questions: 

• Why does this have a hold on me?
• Am I merely keeping this because I want the security of knowing that I have it?
• Instead of asking, “What if I need this someday?” ask, “What if someone else, today, needs it more?”

If you’re feeling stuck while decluttering, asking the right questions can help you uproot deep-seated beliefs, move past indecision, and ultimately let go.

Author Francine Jay said, “Minimalism isn’t emptiness for the sake of emptiness; but rather making room to move more freely, think clearly, and open ourselves to the beauty and wonder of life.”

Living minimally can fulfill a greater need than just creating space in our lives. When we move freely and think clearly, we manage our possessions in a way that benefits everyone around us.

Let’s examine our “why’s” for owning what we do and ask the questions that truly free us to use our possessions for the greatest good.

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Julia Ubbenga is a freelance journalist whose teachings on minimalism, simplicity, and intentional living have reached thousands of people worldwide through her blog. Julia practices what she preaches in her Kansas City apartment home with her husband, two extremely lively young daughters, and 6-month-old son. You can also find her on Instagram.

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I want to help you design a simple, intentional life! I’ve created a 30-day course that will guide and inspire you to declutter your home, heart, and schedule, and live focused on what matters. Learn more HERE.