Minimalism for Moms: Why Decluttering Equals Self-Care

Minimalism for Moms: Why Decluttering Equals Self-Care

As Mother’s Day approaches, I’ve noticed an uptick in emails and Instagram posts highlighting self-care.

It’s the time of year where, as a society, we pause and remind moms that in order to take care of others they need to take care of themselves first.

Now, I believe this message, one hundred percent.

But I can’t help but think that, when it comes to self-care, so many of us are missing one of the most powerful forms of it: living in an uncluttered home.

I missed this memo for the first five years of motherhood. Living in a cluttered space was a real source of stress, anxiety, and overwhelm for me. Chocolate bars and flowers could enter our home, but if it was overrun with domestic flotsam, then I was still stressed.

After embracing minimalism and letting go of 75% of our possessions, I realized that decluttering your home addresses the source of your stress. It’s a root-level remedy that lasts—unlike bath bombs or a spa day. 

As moms, it’s worth pausing and considering how our home environment affects us. And then realizing that we have agency over the state of our homes.

Stressed out by Stuff 

The phrase hot mess joined our vernacular back in the 1800s to describe a warm meal, especially a gloopy one (think mess halls). This descriptor’s most common target today? Moms.

The term hot mess mom describes a person whose vocation is to care for little people, but does so in a chaotic state. In my experience, identifying with the “hot mess mom” label was driven by my internal state: I felt like I couldn’t meet a set of self-conceived standards, so I gave up instead, and I rarely “had it together.”

If you google hot mess mom, descriptors include “disheveled appearance,” “forgetful,” and “unorganized.” Parenting from a state of overwhelm has been normalized and even become expected.

Could the rise of moms who identify as a “hot mess” and the rise of stuff-ownership be related? Absolutely.

The average size of the American home has nearly doubled over the past fifty years. In the 1950s, homes averaged 983 square feet. In 1970 the average home grew to 1,500 square feet, and in 2021 they averaged 2,480 square feet. And women’s feelings of responsibility for home upkeep have persisted over those seven decades, according to a study conducted by UCLA’s Center on the Everyday Lives of Families (CELF). 

The study also found that higher cortisol (the stress hormone) levels were more likely in moms who used words like “mess” and “very chaotic” to describe their homes. Moms with higher cortisol levels maintained these higher levels throughout the day (instead of tapering off in the evening), leading to poorer sleep and increased anxiety.

Every possession has a claim on the mother who cares for it. Having a larger home filled with more stuff, plus expectations to care for it all, is sure to unearth overwhelm.

Minimalism for Moms

What’s the remedy to living environments that evoke stress? Minimalism. Intentionally letting go of the stuff that doesn’t matter to make space for what does has the power to transform motherhood.

Imagine…

• A toy room with a few, loved toys that your children can return to their “homes” independently. 
• A schedule with margin that turns moments with loved ones into moments of connection. (Lingering to memorize the baby’s smile during bath time. Laughing with the toddler as he smears avocado through his hair… again.)
• A kitchen with fewer dishes, a system for washing them, and a clear sink being the norm instead of a rarity. 
• Bedroom and closet floors that are pile-free.
• A mom, who, realizing she is functioning within her capacity and is also focused on what matters, is living a meaningful and authentic life.

Minimalism is a form of self-care. No question. Living in a manageable environment that doesn’t create stress can be the difference between surviving and thriving. It’s nearly impossible to give the world our best selves if we’re in survival mode.

Living a minimalist lifestyle frees you to have more time, energy, and attention to focus on what matters. You matter. And you deserve more time to focus on growing into the person you’re called to become.

If jumping into decluttering your home seems too daunting, just start small. Clear a corner of your home—keep it clutter-free and beautiful. Elevate the area with fresh flowers or an image you love. Observe how you feel in that area of your home. Then channel that feeling into motivation to keep decluttering other areas.

In Conclusion

If I had a word of advice for myself as I entered motherhood 11 years ago, it would be this: Give yourself permission to live simply.

“Simply” could have been replaced by “differently,” “counter culturally,” “against the grain.”

I would have told my 29-year-old self, “See the way society tells moms to live (accumulating more stuff, more commitments, more stress) and take a step in the other direction.”

Minimalism is self-care at its finest.

And, if you’re a mom, that is the message I’d share with you today. 

If you’re looking to reduce your stress levels (beyond a weekend of chocolate and bath salts), take heart, I’ve been there. Give yourself permission to live simply. Minimalism won’t take away all your mom-stress or problems (that’s not real life). But it will give you space to mitigate and navigate them.

Imagine what your life as a mom would be like with minimalism.

If that image resonates with you, then take a step today to begin merging motherhood with minimalism (learn how here). Embracing a life of less stuff makes for a lighter, more meaningful motherhood.

And if you’re looking for a Mother’s Day gift for yourself, a friend, or family member, check out my new book Declutter Your Heart and Your Home: How a Minimalist Life Yields Maximum Joy. In my experience, living in an uncluttered home is the ultimate form of self-care.

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Julia Ubbenga is a freelance journalist. Her online projects on minimalism, simplicity, and intentional living have reached over 50 million people worldwide. Julia also practices what she preaches in her Kansas City home where she lives with her husband and their five children. You can also find her on Instagram and Facebook.