Creating a Culture of Slow: 8 Ways to Transform the Pace of Your Home

I’ve always had a knack for conforming to cultures.

In my early 20s, country hopping through Europe and northern Africa, it worked in my favor.

I picked up basic flamenco steps in Spain, learned how to whip up a decent dish of German spaetzle, navigated spice markets up and down the Nile, and held my own on karaoke stages in British pubs.

Yep, this ability to acclimate quickly to a culture was undeniably positive.

Until I returned home.

I went to graduate school, entered the workforce, and soon found myself immersed in what many Americans dub “the hustle culture.” Naturally, I acclimated. The rushing was relentless and striving to get ahead became my new standard.

Then came motherhood, and I stepped into what I’d call “the do-it-all culture.” Work, child raising, cleaning, dishes, laundry, social life, volunteer commitments, and marriage. It was all on me.

Despite my attempts, I couldn’t conform to this culture in a way that felt right. I couldn’t authentically connect with my husband and kids while maintaining a home full of stuff and a calendar overflowing with commitments. I couldn’t transport my kids from activity to activity and cultivate peace in our home.

Our oldest daughter, who has the trait of high sensitivity like me, began melting down daily at anything that even resembled rushing. I was on edge most of the time, usually thinking about what I needed to do next and calculating how I’d complete it.

Our family culture needed to change—I felt this at my core. We needed to slow down. Way down.

At first, I wasn’t sure how. Then I began asking myself this guiding question: “What culture do I want to build within the walls of my own home?”

I realized that we didn’t have to conform to anyone else’s standards, lifestyle or pace. We could create a “culture of slow” in our home, a culture that was authentic to us.

And so can you.

Here are 8 ways to create a “culture of slow” in your home:

1. Give yourself permission to opt-out

Take a good, hard look at everything that demands your time. Then eliminate the non-essentials. This may mean letting go of commitments or saying no to seemingly good things to make space for rest and connection. Remember that when you say no, you’re actually saying yes to something else, like more family time or space to pursue a hobby.

2. Practice digital minimalism

Simple, slow living is ultimately a matter of focus. Technology is arguably our biggest distraction in our homes (one study reports average iPhone users touch their phone around 2,617 times a day).

Cal Newport, author of Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World said, “The urge to check Twitter or refresh Reddit becomes a nervous twitch that shatters uninterrupted time into shards too small to support the presence necessary for an intentional life.”

Creating a “culture of slow” means focusing your online time on a small number of carefully selected activities that support what you value. And then being okay with missing out on everything else.

3. Identify your triggers to rush

Begin observing your patterns of rushing. When do you consistently feel inclined to rush? Maybe it’s when you’re about to leave the house. Or maybe it’s in a time-pressured situation.

Take action to slow down during those identified times by using an inner cue. You might think, “Relationships first” or “The hurry only hurts.” Find a cue that allows you to stop, really observe the situation, and breathe.

Then, identify what’s most important to you during that moment. Is getting somewhere on time more important than staying calm and composed in front of your kids? Use that as motivation to move more slowly.

4. Sit down to eat meals together

Intentional connection is grounding. The pace of the day slows significantly when you sit across the table from a loved one, make eye contact, ask questions, and really listen. During these pauses, feeling spread too thin by rushing is replaced by feelings of reconnection.

Take this a step further by practicing mindful eating. Savor the tastes, breathe in aromas, and really see what’s on your plate and around you. Focus on nothing more than connecting with loved ones, enjoying the meal, and experiencing the moment.

5. Slow down your body deliberately

Slow down your life by deliberately choosing actions that slow down your body.

Drive the speed limit, get in the slow lane, stop fully at stop signs, get in the longest checkout line at the grocery store, single task, walk slower, experiment with mindfulness and meditation.

Soon you’ll find yourself focusing more on the journey than the destination and approaching each day with a more gratitude-based mindset.

6. Change your words

Word choice can change your brain chemistry and ultimately your actions.

“You’re out of time—hurry up!” activates different brain areas than “You have all the time you need.” You can choose to tell yourself either. The second allows you to keep moving forward without hijacking your nervous system.

Use phrases like “take your time,” “there’s no hurry,” and “take it easy” intentionally and often. You’ll begin believing these phrases and your pace will slow because of it.

7. Take more walks

Author Wendell Berry wrote: “As I walk, I am always reminded of the slow, patient building of soil in the woods. And I am reminded of the events and companions of my life—for my walks, after so long, are cultural events.”

Nature moves at a slow pace, and the more you immerse yourself in the outdoors, the more your pace also slows. Being outside has a way of resetting the mind and slowing thoughts, refocusing them on what matters. Slow saunters outside offer time to reflect, practice mindfulness, or reconnect as a family.

8. Practice one rest day a week

Designate one day a week for rest and leisure. Consider it a “do nothing day” where work is set aside and relationships are rekindled. Make time and space to just be together. Maybe you take a family hike, cook together, or read together curled up on the couch. Rest days, when taken seriously, dramatically slow the pace of life.

Author Carl Honoré said, “The greatest benefit of slowing down is reclaiming the time and tranquility to make meaningful connections—with people, with culture, with work, with nature, with our own bodies and minds.”

For our family, this has been spot on.

By creating a “culture of slow,” we’ve entered life more deeply, side stepping what speaker David Zach called “hyperliving—skimming along the surface of life.”

We’ve strengthened our connections with each other and with ourselves. Our health has improved and our stress levels have also lessened, as we no longer feel pressured to “do it all.” And, most importantly, we’re now comfortable with the lifestyle we’re modeling to our kids.

Living slowly may seem a bit countercultural, but I’d argue it’s the only way to truly live.

So go ahead, ask yourself, “What kind of culture do you want to create in your home?”

Why not make it a slow one?

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Julia Ubbenga is a freelance journalist whose teachings on minimalism, simplicity, and intentional living have reached thousands of people worldwide through her blog. Julia also practices what she preaches in her Kansas City home. She resides with her husband, two extremely lively young daughters, two-year-old son, and baby girl. You can also find her on Instagram.

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