3 Ways Minimalism can Help Heal Your Relationship with Money 

Minimalism, for many, serves as a springboard from debt.

The reasoning is simple. When you embrace a life with less stuff, you renounce impulse spending and conspicuous consumption. These lifestyle shifts naturally lead to more money in your bank account.

But minimalism has the power to go deeper than solely alleviating the pains of debt. When it comes to your relationship with money, minimalism can foster healing.

And for so many of us, this healing is needed.

“We have a very unhealthy relationship with money in this country,” said Ramit Sethi, author of I Will Teach You To Be Rich, “On one hand, we have a puritanical strain that tells us, do not buy anything and you’re a bad person for having debt. On the other hand, we look on Instagram and see our friend is going to be in Bora Bora on Tuesday, so we book a trip even though we don’t know how much we have in the bank. What paradoxical beliefs!”

While I never booked Bora Bora, spending blindly—often, while feeling guilty—was second nature for me before minimalism.

After two years of minimalist living, my husband and I had nearly dug our way out of $40,000 of consumer debt. But my relationship with money still felt strained.

As our massive debt pile dwindled, I still selected “no tip” at Starbucks. If hopeful neighbor kids uttered the word fundraiser, I quickly turned them away. When my husband suggested setting up an automatic monthly tithe to our church, I kept “forgetting” to do it. 

Once the debt was gone, the need for healing my relationship with money became clear. We were debt free, the goal had been reached, mission accomplished. But I continued to feel guilty spending, I was worried about money, and I resisted opportunities to be generous. It was as though no number in the bank could make me feel safe enough to give. And it didn’t make sense.

Minimalism cleared the clutter and debt from my life. With the outer clutter cleared, inner areas of my life that needed deeper healing surfaced. I decided to put in the work.

Today, four years into minimalist living, my relationship with money is healed. The debt and guilt around money have been replaced by freedom and intentionality. And it’s a wonderful place to be.

You don’t have to wait until your debt is gone to heal your relationship with money. While it’s certainly not an overnight endeavor, if your relationship with money is strained, it’s worth changing. And minimalism can help.

Here are three ways minimalism can help you heal your relationship with money (and three tools to help you do it):

1. Minimalism helps you define your rich life

Minimalist living allows you to focus on what matters by letting go of the stuff that doesn’t matter. When you begin realizing what matters—what constitutes your rich life—you gain guidance on where to spend money. According to Sethi, this can be the impetus needed to dig your way out of debt.

Sethi says, “A rich life is when you look at your life and go, wow, this feels amazing. You can have a rich life and still be in debt. You can have a rich life and not yet be where you want to be ultimately. The key is that your rich life is yours—not your parents, not your friends, but yours.”

Defining a rich life, even while wallowing in debt, helps you attach positive emotions to money again. The first step? Dreaming big. Sethi suggests sitting down with your significant other (or by yourself if single) and creating a 10-year bucket list. 

Then, choose one thing from that list that would make the next 10 years amazing and rich. Be specific. If you want to learn Spanish, then do you want to do that online or in a Mexican City immersion program? If you want to help orphans, then do you want to donate to your church’s mission or go on their next mission trip to an overseas orphanage? Say you choose a trip. Decide the month you’ll go, visualize your seat on the airplane, imagine what you’ll be wearing—be specific. 

Then, approximate the amount it’s going to cost (how much do you need to save a year?). Set up a monthly automatic transfer from checking to saving. Each month you’ll see you’re getting closer to your goal, and that is a joy.

“What you’re doing is you’re recalibrating the way you talk about money,” Sethi says, “It’s dreamy and fun.”

Defining your rich life makes money fun again. And when money becomes fun, you let go of unhealthy avoidance behaviors like putting off the bills or ignoring your spending habits, which facilitates healing your relationship with money.

2. Minimalism helps you let go of guilt around spending 

Minimalism eliminates outer clutter, which gives you space to address inner clutter, such as unhealthy inner narratives.

Guilt that accompanies spending money is usually anchored in negative, internal money-narratives that took root in childhood.

If you grew up in a household where you heard “We can’t afford that” on repeat, it’s likely you still feel bad buying certain items, regardless of how much money you have in your bank account. Your relationship with money isn’t a positive one if your self-talk includes lines like: I’m not good with money. I’m never going to get out of this debt. I’m just an over spender. (I identified with all three of these.)

Sethi suggests telling yourself that you spend unapologetically on the things you love and you cut costs mercilessly on the things you don’t love.

Fill in these blanks: I spend extravagantly on ______ and I cut costs mercilessly on ______.

Maybe you spend extravagantly on tipping and cut costs mercilessly on your house. Or maybe you spend extravagantly on experiences and cut costs mercilessly on your car. Maybe you spend extravagantly on causes you’re passionate about and cut costs mercilessly on your clothing.

Minimalism helps heal your relationship with money by removing guilt around spending. As an intentional spender, you’re free to spend extravagantly on the things that matter (which, often, aren’t actually things).

3. Minimalism helps you take the offense with money

Minimalism brings intentionality to all areas of your life. You own things on purpose, spend on purpose, give on purpose. To be intentional means you’re responding, not reacting. You’re on offense. You have a plan, you know your values, and you create a life that aligns with them. 

To become intentional about where your money goes—to take the offense with money—Sethi does not suggest creating a monthly budget. Instead, he recommends compiling a conscious spending plan. Sethi advises revisiting this plan monthly.

Four key numbers in the conscious spending plan (CSP):  

1. Fixed costs (rent or mortgage, utilities, car payments, gas, groceries, debt payments). This would be 50-60% of your take home pay.

2. Savings (emergency fund, vacation, house down payment). This would be 10% of your take home pay.

3. Investments. This would be at least 5-10% of take home pay.

4. Guilt-free spending (whatever you’ve decided you spend extravagantly on). This would be 20-35% of take-home pay.

Sethi says, “Know the four numbers and you will suddenly feel totally in control of your finances.”

Knowing these four numbers and owning them played a big role in healing my relationship with money. Even though we were debt free, I had an irrational fear that spending would cause debt to pile up again.

After completing a CSP, I began buying groceries with a sense of relief instead of remorse and could even treat myself, my kids, and our elderly neighbor with guilt-free ice cream cones at a nearby shop. Once I knew the groceries, the ice cream, and even extra tipping didn’t rob us of our ability to save, invest, and cover fixed costs, I could spend money on them without agonizing over the purchase. 

Minimalism will save you money and encourage spending habits that can lead to debt-free living. 

But until you and money have a relationship that’s healed, though you may not have any more “debt,” you won’t be truly “free.”

Begin questioning your beliefs around money and resolve that you can learn about money regardless of your state in life (Sethi’s book is a great place to start). 

Let’s let minimalism be a springboard out of debt and into true financial peace thanks to a healed relationship with money.

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Julia Ubbenga is a freelance journalist whose teachings on minimalism, simplicity, and intentional living have reached thousands of people worldwide through her blog. Julia also practices what she preaches in her Kansas City home. She resides with her husband, two extremely lively young daughters, two-year-old son, and baby girl. You can also find her on Instagram.

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