3 Reasons to Embrace “Messy Minimalism”

Editor’s note: This is a guest post by Emily McDermott.

I’ve always considered myself a clean and tidy person. There were hints all the way back in elementary school that I would pursue something in the decluttering and organization field.

When we had indoor recess, I would clean and organize the desks of other students for a quarter. (I am a child of the 80’s so not sure what that would be with inflation!) My parents didn’t have to chide me to keep my room clean, as I didn’t like having a mess to begin with.

Eight years into my minimalism journey, I was excited to read about the concept of “messy minimalism” in Rachelle Crawford’s book by the same name. Even though I don’t consider myself a messy person, I have met a lot of moms who say they want to declutter but they’re “just a messy person” so they don’t think a clutter-free home is possible for them.

I consider this to be a limiting belief, so I couldn’t wait to dive into the book to learn more.

It turns out that messy minimalism is a much-needed antidote to the Pinterest-perfect, cookie-cutter minimalism that can be found online. It focuses on what we need to live our best, most fulfilling life, not how we look to others.

Here are three reasons why everyone, no matter where they are on their simplifying and minimalism journey, can embrace “messy minimalism.”

1. Messy minimalists don’t stress out about messes in their home because they know they are manageable and easily tidied.

Messy minimalism recognizes that mess is a part of everyday, real life. When you embrace it, the mess around you won’t stress you out, because you know that it’s temporary. As Crawford says, “Minimalism does not mean always tidy. It just means easily tidied.”

Our family room, which is now the “Lego Lab,” is a perfect example of this. My boys decided to go all in with Lego building a few months ago. I soon realized the Lego creations weren’t going to be tidied day in and day out. (Lego creations falling apart is a cause of great distress in my home.) So I decided to create an artificial boundary around the Legos: they could live only within the rug area and could be kept out overnight. There are no other toys permitted to be out overnight. My brain can rest easy knowing that this small space is messy but the rest of the house is not.

I easily put away the Legos when I need to vacuum, or if the Legos are impeding our way of life (or impaling our feet), and life goes on. I have embraced messy minimalism by realizing that perfect tidiness is not the goal! This supports one of the points in Crawford’s messy minimalism manifesto: “Minimalism is here to serve me and my real, often messy life. Not the other way around.”

2. Messy minimalists know there is no “end goal” for minimalism or decluttering, which allows them to move forward at their own pace with heaps of grace along the way.

When you start a decluttering and minimalism journey, it’s natural to look forward to the destination. A clutter-free home? Yes, please. A schedule that gives us breathing room? That is the dream. Living an intentional life in alignment with our values? Oh, if only!

But the old saying “it’s about the journey, not the destination” rings true for minimalism. There is no destination, because we aren’t static people with static families. As long as we are learning, growing, and changing, our stuff changes with us. There will always be things to declutter and activities to re-evaluate to ensure we are spending our precious resources of time, energy, and attention on the things that matter most.

As Crawford explains, messy minimalists recognize that “minimalism is a guardrail, not a destination.” Minimalism helps us make decisions so we can live a purpose-filled life, but it is not the focus in and of itself. It is a tool, not the end goal.

Because this is a marathon, not a sprint, we can remember that every step counts. If you remove one obligation from your crammed calendar or one item from your junk drawer, it all counts. Messy minimalists recognize the long game and move forward at their own pace.

3. Messy minimalists recognize that perfection is an illusion, comparison drains us of precious energy, and that minimalism can look different for everyone and that’s OK.

Recently, a podcast host asked me whether I count my dishes, cups, and so forth. Deadpan, I responded, “Well, I just got my minimalism card in the mail and I’m very excited.” The host responded, “Oh really?” and I had to confess that I was kidding.

There are people, however, that think that minimalism has a special carrying card. Others think there is a minimalism enforcement police that hangs out undercover at the Target Dollar Spot and calls out anyone who says they are a minimalist but makes an impulse purchase. Like so many other aspects of our lives, we believe other people care about whether we are doing something “perfectly.” We spend so much energy pursuing that “right way” when people generally don’t care at all.

We don’t need to scroll Instagram or Pinterest looking for the perfect minimalist aesthetic and incorporate it into our homes so that we are doing minimalism “right”. There is no such thing as doing it right, because it is completely individual based upon what matters most to us. I could own 50 mugs or three, and I would still be a minimalist. As Crawford writes, “I am not concerned with how my minimalism appears on the outside but how it transforms me from the inside.”

Messy minimalism is for all of us

Perfectionism and comparison have no place in how we pursue a life with less. Messy minimalism is a lifestyle filled with grace and the belief that every step, no matter how small, should be recognized and celebrated.

Messy minimalism is, as Crawford explains, “A clearer path back to you. Beneath it all, I want you to find not just your long-lost favorite T-shirt but who it is you were created to be. Not the version you were told to be but the version you were made to be.”

Let’s move forward in this beautiful, messy life toward the version of ourselves that we are meant to be.

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Emily McDermott is an Air Force wife and mom to two boys living in Fairfax, Virginia. Her blog Simple by Emmy chronicles her journey to a simpler and more intentional life. Her free resources, including 5 Mindset Shifts to Help You Let Go of Clutter, help you focus on what matters. Emily helps overwhelmed moms of young children define what matters and eliminate what doesn’t in her podcast Moms Overcoming Overwhelm.