Shifting Toward Gratitude 

I stood in the middle of our street, face tilted skyward, welcoming the wet frigid flakes as they steadily pelted my skin. Squinting my eyes against the snowy onslaught, I caught sight of our streetlight, illuminating the grandeur falling all around me. I stuck out my tongue, collecting as many silver crystals as I could hold, allowing them to dissolve and refill on my palate.

“Look at mom,” our eight year old giggled, dark lashes weighed down by flakes. Our five year old had already watched and was imitating me, clandestinely, as though to avert a scolding for eating snow.

The first snowfall of the season always held a certain magic. One I wasn’t going to miss. Twirling, tongue out in the street, I was eight again on a winter, Iowa night. Thirty years later, the feeling was similar. One that made me feel alive and… thankful. 

Later that evening, once the house was quiet, I cracked open my gratitude journal.

What was I thankful for today? I reflected. What moments stood out as gifts that I wanted to capture?

Our toddler’s intense focus during yet another Zingo game. Our daughters’ triumphant smiles after discovering where I’d hid the rest of their Halloween candy. Laughter with my husband over yet another parenting memes text. And the snow. Frigid, soul-awakening flurries that stirred feelings of wonder. 

The moments I’m thankful for, to me, are moments that matter. They accompany each day, but it’s taken years to train my eyes to really see them. For my mindset to shift toward gratitude.

I started documenting these moments in 2015, after reading Ann Voskamp’s book One Thousand Gifts. The book where I learned that gratitude was simply a matter of focus. 

Author and brain scientist Dr. Daniel Amen says, “Where you bring your attention always determines how you feel.” Focus on what you’re thankful for and you’ll feel grateful. Focus on what you wish was different in your life and you’ll feel restless and stressed. Focus on taking good care of yourself and you’ll feel energized to serve others.

An intentional shift toward gratitude has changed how I see the world. And it can for you too.

Gratitude won’t make you always happy—that’s not real life and it would be unhealthy not to feel other things.

It will, however, make your life more simple and joy-filled as your focus moves away from what you lack, carving more space for contentment with who you are and what you have.

How to start your own gratitude practice:

1. Find your “why”

Take some time to journal about why you want to be more grateful. This was an important first step for me. I figured out why I didn’t want to miss the little moments that made my heart happy. 

When our baby imitated my sneeze with an adorable “achoo,” I wanted to fully capture that feeling. When our five-year-old daughter spontaneously started dancing salsa on an afternoon walk, I wanted to remember that moment and be thankful for it. I wanted to see the beautiful gifts gracing my life that I had been missing.

2. Create visual memory cues

Visual cues are key for building any habit, including increasing your gratitude. When starting this practice, I put visual reminders to be grateful in places I knew I’d see often. A note card reading “See the gifts and say thanks” went on the bathroom mirror. 

Another card reading “What are you grateful for today?” went on the microwave. A reminder set on my phone asked the same question. 

When I saw a reminder, I would stop and meditate a moment on what I was thankful for right then. Eventually I found the question “What am I grateful for?” popping into my mind without seeing my visual reminders.

3. Record what you are thankful for

After identifying a gift and saying thank you, write it down. At first, I used the Notes App on my phone so I could record things on the go. 

These recordings showed me that the things I’m most thankful for aren’t tangible things at all. 

A beautiful sunset. Big brown toddler eyes over a strawberry ice cream bar. My husband’s jokes. Being told, “Mama, thank you for taking good care of me,” at 3 am. The taste of Pinot Noir. My favorite NeedtoBreathe song on the radio. A quality phone conversation with my mom during nap time. Family strolls on stunning fall Sundays.

I tried to record three things a day. If I couldn’t record something the moment I observed it, then, I would pause before plugging in my phone at night, reflect on the day, and record three things I was grateful for.

I now use an actual gratitude journal, and it has thousands of entries—moments that continue to fill me with joy that I otherwise would have overlooked or forgotten. 

Voskamp said, “Joy is always a function of gratitude—and gratitude is always a function of perspective.”

Why not begin shifting your perspective toward gratitude today? There is always something to be thankful for. 

Practice seeing and capturing the moments that matter.

A life tuned into the moments that make you come alive, ultimately, is a life more fully lived.

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