Giving From Your Overflow: 5 Self-Care Strategies for an Intentional Life

Last month I attended a presentation for moms. While most of the talk was inspiring, I left fighting an itch to ascend my own soapbox.

I jotted a few notes here and there as the presenter spoke, capturing take-aways to review later. Until she mentioned a popular topic misunderstood by many: self-care. 

Clearly scoffing at the concept, she gave an example: “Self-care is escaping to take a bath instead of helping your kids when they need it.”

Everyone in the small group nodded in agreement—everyone but me.

While I agreed the scenario she described in her example wasn’t prudent, I couldn’t help but think, if describing self-care, she was missing the point.

Her takeaway? That self-care is selfish. That self-care is putting yourself first at the expense of the needs of others.

To live intentional lives full of meaning requires a mindset shift around self-care. I think a little rewording can help. Instead of using the buzzword self-care, I’ve begun calling it “giving from your overflow.”

To give from your overflow, you set the intention to take such good care of yourself so you’re more equipped to take even better care of those around you.

Yes, you still give and embrace a service-mindset. But not from an empty cup. 

When you give from your overflow, you’re giving others the best of you. And everyone around you benefits.

Giving from your overflow isn’t selfish or self-centered. It’s needed for us to do the work we’re called to in this world and help those around us become the best version of themselves.

Here are 5 ways to practice giving from your overflow:

1. Take an inventory of your needs 

It’s hard to meet your needs and give from your overflow if you’re not in touch with what those needs are. Ask yourself, “What do I need in order to best do the work I’m called to?”

Then write them out. Review this list daily until you know the things that fill you up, best preparing you to serve others. You may include daily, weekly, monthly and even yearly needs. 

My list includes starting the day sipping something hot in silence and time during the day spent intentionally listening to each member of my family.

Self-care doesn’t mean escaping. It’s a practice of intentionally including things you enjoy in your life, knowing “I’m doing this for me, so I can be more present to you.” Read 40 self-care ideas here.

2. Make your breaks mindful

If you take five minutes to sit and enjoy a hot cup of tea, but your mind is racing with to-do’s, chances are you won’t leave your break recharged. 

When you’re intentionally doing something for yourself, do it mindfully. Engage your senses, observe your surroundings, and ground yourself in the present moment to make your act of self-care meaningful. 

3. Listen to your inner guidance 

Author Erica Layne said, “Self-care is so much more than scented candles and beach vacations. It’s freeing yourself of unsupportive thoughts, habits and people. It’s learning to listen less to the voice of “should” that echoes loudly in your head and more to the voice of “I am” that stirs quietly in your heart.”

Tapping into your intuition is a powerful way to practice giving from your overflow. Begin noticing how situations, decisions, and environments make you feel. Do they deliver a feeling of constriction or expansion? Put your hand on your heart and listen. 

We often know intuitively what’s best for us, but our mind can over-complicate things. There’s a reason you’re designed to love some things and not love others. You have your unique gifts and talents—the world needs you to identify and embrace them. 

4. Consider your environment 

Decluttering is a form of self-care. No question. Living in a manageable environment that doesn’t create stress can be the difference between surviving and thriving. It’s nearly impossible to give the world our best selves if we’re in survival mode.

Living a minimalist lifestyle frees you to have more time, energy, and attention to focus on what matters. You matter. And you deserve more time to focus on growing into the person you’re called to become.

If jumping into decluttering your home seems too daunting, just start small. Clear a corner of your home—keep it clutter-free and beautiful. Elevate the area with fresh flowers or an image you love. Observe how you feel in that area of your home. Then channel that feeling into motivation to keep decluttering other areas. 

5. Eavesdrop on your self-talk 

What do you tell yourself about self-care? If you’re used to anticipating the needs of others so much that you frequently feel burnout (and maybe even resentment), try this. The next time you’re about to ask someone what they need, also ask yourself what you need. 

You deserve to have your needs met just as much as everyone around you does. This certainly doesn’t mean adopting a “me first” mindset, but it does mean thinking “me too.” 

Can you serve others well when you’re running on empty yourself? Doubtful. 

To really understand the importance of self-care, we have to understand the benefits of living a service-minded life. Studies show the happiest people are those who routinely serve others. 

Any investment in yourself has a positive ripple effect on those around you. You matter. The people around you matter.

Let’s set the intention to take such good care of ourselves that everyone around us benefits from our overflow.

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Julia Ubbenga is a freelance journalist whose teachings on minimalism, simplicity, and intentional living have reached thousands of people worldwide through her blog. Julia practices what she preaches in her Kansas City home with her husband, two extremely lively young daughters, and one-year-old son. You can also find her on Instagram.

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