A Season for White Space

A word I usually avoid slid out in conversation this past week.

“I just feel. . . busy,” I told my husband, reflectively. He was sitting on the couch sipping steaming coffee and reading. I was pacing, rattling off the remaining holiday “to-dos.”

Even my actions reflect my sentiments, I thought. And there, I’d dropped that “b-word.” 

Why all the attention to this four letter word? 

To me, busy brings with it the negative connotations of being frenzied, harried, rushed—constantly doing without stopping to reflect, to be, to enjoy. 

Not the way I want to spend this holiday season, or any season of my life for that matter.

Now, I’m not promoting idleness in expressing my dislike for this term. I’m just no fan of the glorified version of busy embraced by our culture. Society’s idea that we are more successful when we do more, achieve more, and own more leads to more stress, striving and emptiness.

Caught up in busyness, we go through life skimming the surface in an autopilot-like mode trying to do it all. Only when we slow down and focus on what matters can we put the weight of our being into the here and now.

But how can we avoid being busy this time of year? I wondered. There is simply more to do. Gifts to buy (even if they are experiences instead of stuff), homes to decorate, holiday meals to shop for and prepare, cookie recipes to follow, and cards to write.

Yes, this is a “full” time of year. But here’s the truth. . .

Our schedules are as full and fast-paced as we allow them to be. We are the ones who decide when and where we dole out our time, energy, and attention. 

For many of us, our to-do lists could be never ending if we wanted. As a mom of three small children, I see this every day. There is always something more to “get done.” Each day I could strive to check off just one more item, and Christmastime is no different. 

So what’s the solution to staying intentional while also fully submerged in the current of the Christmas season?

White space. Quiet time carved into our day where we breathe, rest, reflect and be. Time spent in stillness and silence slows the tempo of our day. It fuels our actions, guides our decisions, and often determines whether we respond or react to life.

White space allows us to “do” and also to “be.” To complete our tasks, not in a busy way, but in a purposeful, intentional way. A way that allows us to steep our lives in beauty and wonder, focused as much on the journey as the destination. 

Here are 5 ways to build white space into your life this week:

1. Clear your mind of to-dos 

Creating white space in your day often begins the evening before. At bedtime, quiet your mind by writing down everything you think you need to do. Getting these thoughts on paper stops them from circling in your mind and distracting you from the present. Next, assign three tasks to be done the next day. Just three. 

You may also want to take out your planner and write three things down for future days so you won’t worry about when they will get done. Our brains love closure on an open item. If we still haven’t decided when we will run that errand to the post office, our subconscious will still be working to figure it out. Put it on paper, assign it a day and time and it will stop running through your mind. Which gives you more presence and peace. 

2. Schedule downtime

Put time for stillness on your schedule. When you realize how white space can recalibrate your day, this becomes an appointment with yourself that you won’t miss. You may decide to sit for 10 minutes in the morning, practicing gratitude and reflecting on the day ahead. 

Glance through the to-do list from the night before and ask yourself if each item is essential. Is there anything you can let go of or delegate? Pause and reflect like this for 5-10 minutes at least three times throughout the day. Step out into nature if you can. Take some deep breaths. Sip a warm drink. The busier you feel, the more pauses you need. 

3. Use value-based truth statements

Use this quiet time to reconnect with your values. Society will tell you more is better during the holidays—more toys purchased for your children, more dishes at your holiday meal, more decorations around your home. You may be feeling pressure to buy just one more thing to make the season just a bit better. 

Remember this: studies show time and time again that happiness doesn’t come from something we buy. More stuff does not equal more joy. Contentment comes from connection and quality time invested in relationships. Begin countering seasonal pressures with value-based truth statements (ex. “My daughter’s Christmas would be even better if I just bought her one more toy. No, instead of more online shopping, I could spend that time playing a card game with her.”).

4. Change the environment 

Studies also show your environment affects the way you think and act. A busy environment can make you feel more busy interiorly. Find a corner of your home this week that you can make peaceful. Clear the clutter, clean the space, light a candle—whatever will help you slow down and quiet your mind. This space can be where you take your “downtime breaks.” An environment at rest will promote rest in your mind and soul.

5. Practice observing

Make a conscious choice to stop and notice the wonder of the season. Make it a mindfulness game—become a detective looking for the lovely moments and beautiful details that pass by. Start by just looking around your environment and putting what you see into words (in your head or out loud). 

Maybe you’re watching your daughter look at Christmas lights and you think “Her brown eyes open wide with amazement, reflecting the silver twinkle of overhead icicle lights.” This way of thinking stops time and captures moments. If you just thought, “Oh, she’s looking at lights,” then your brain doesn’t see any reason to remember the moment. Describing with details, color, and emotion creates novelty, which causes your brain to pay attention and form a memory. 

Author Brené Brown said, “It takes courage to say yes to rest and play in a culture where exhaustion is seen as a status symbol.” 

It does take courage, but the good news is we have a choice.

We can choose to build breaks for silence and stillness into our lives. We can choose to work from a state of peace because everything on our to-do list is essential. We can choose to counter busy and exhaustion with soul-filling space.

The choice is ours, no matter the season. 

I encourage you to build a little white space into your life this week. Your Christmas will be calmer and brighter for it.

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Julia Ubbenga is a freelance journalist whose teachings on minimalism, simplicity, and intentional living have reached thousands of people worldwide through her blog. Julia practices what she preaches in her Kansas City apartment home with her husband, two extremely lively young daughters, and newborn son. You can also find her on Instagram.