What Minimalism Is Not
At a socially-distanced, outdoor event recently, I was asked the proverbial small-talk starter: “So what do you do?”
Now, I’m not a huge fan of small talk (give me a deep conversation instead, please), but I obliged.
“I stay home with our three kids and currently homeschool.”
In an attempt to take the conversation off surface level, I added, “And I blog about minimalism.”
The woman I was speaking with furrowed her brow, casting an expression that I’d peg as half confusion and half disapproval.
I smiled.
“Yeah, you know, removing the excess in your life to make room for what really matters. Minimalism.”
With a bit more explaining she was interested, on board with the concept, and had moved past any bad taste that accompanied the initial mention of minimalism.
For minimalism to be misconceived isn’t uncommon.
Lately I’ve heard people adding warm and fuzzy terms before the word minimalism—as though they need to soften the punch the complete term brings.
“Cozy minimalism.” “Gentle minimalism.” Even “soft minimalism.”
As though minimalism in and of itself is harsh and something to tread lightly around.
Is minimalism an extreme movement or could it be the word is often just misunderstood?
I’d like to argue the latter.
Here are 5 things minimalism is not:
1. Perfectionism
Minimalist living is not about maintaining a perfect home. As blogger Rachelle Crawford said, “Minimalism does not mean always tidy. It just means easily tidied.” If your goal is to keep every room in your home Pinterest perfect at all times, you’re just adding stress to your life—especially if you have kids.
We know from research that clutter does elevate stress levels, especially in women. But so does perfectionism. Compulsive decluttering is a real thing too, and that’s not minimalism.
Minimalism is more about the way you feel in your home than the way it looks. Even when things are out of place, a home that is not overcrowded with stuff will still feel breathable. Minimalism allows you to be at peace in your home no matter its state.
2. An attempt to control
Minimalism is not about attempting to control your surroundings when things in your life feel out of control. It’s not about exercising power by getting rid of everything you own. Realizing what you can and cannot control in your life is inside work. It takes reflection and letting go.
Minimalism can, however, bring a sense of peace to your life. A calmer environment leads to a calmer mind. And a calmer mind has greater ability to discern what you can and cannot control.
3. A competition to own the least
No spectrum or continuum exists when it comes to minimalism. There’s no measurement that could put you at risk of not being “minimalist enough.” No room for comparison. And no competition to own the least.
Minimalism is a lifestyle you adopt, meaning it will look different for everyone. If you’re consistently and intentionally removing stuff from your life that no longer serves you—possessions, commitments, beliefs—then you’re pursuing minimalism. How much you need to remove to reach the peaceful feeling of enough is up to you.
4. A guarantee to happiness
Adopting a minimalist lifestyle is not a sure ticket to happiness. While minimalism will create space in your life, you still must decide what to fill that space with and then act.
Getting rid of possessions will provide a dopamine rush (just like purchasing new possessions does), but this is temporary. Filling up that new-found space with something meaningful is what brings lasting joy.
5. Only about your stuff
The deeper I delve into minimalism, the more I realize that minimalism is less about your stuff and more about the you beneath your possessions. It’s about crafting a life that is in line with your values. A life you find meaningful. It’s about clearing your mind of attachments and focusing on what matters most.
With less stuff to worry about and busy yourself with, you get in touch with your true self—who you are, not who the world says you should be. You can clearly identify your values and can truly assess if you’re living in alignment with them.
Joshua Fields Millburn said, “Minimalism is not a radical lifestyle. Minimalism is a tool I use to get rid of unnecessary stuff and live a meaningful life—a life filled with happiness, freedom, and conscious awareness.”
Letting go of possessions and living with less is ultimately about freedom, not restriction.
No matter how you modify the term—even if you feel the need to call it cozy or gentle—the underlying principles of minimalism remain the same.
Less stuff and greater levels of detachment lead to a deeper connection with your true self, greater peace, and a life lived with more intention.
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Julia Ubbenga is a freelance journalist whose teachings on minimalism, simplicity, and intentional living have reached thousands of people worldwide through her blog. Julia practices what she preaches in her Kansas City apartment home with her husband, two extremely lively young daughters, and newborn son. You can also find her on Instagram.