Minimalism Without Rules

Around the time I decided to go “all in” on the minimalist lifestyle, I’d been reading about people who owned only 100 things. 

I wonder how close I am to that, I thought. 

So I began listing what I owned. Literally. I wrote down everything I could think of that occupied our home (in my defense, I was on an airplane with not much else to do). 

My list soon was over 100.  Significantly over.

I felt defeated. As though the “magic” number to achieve minimalist status was out of reach.

Thankfully, I worked through that disappointment and began decluttering anyway. And as I worked my way toward minimalism, eventually getting rid of well over half of my possessions, I realized something.

Minimalism isn’t about some arbitrary set of rules. No one else could tell me what minimalism “should” look like for me. Sure, I could read about suggestions and guidelines, but ultimately I was the one who determined when I had “arrived” at a minimalist lifestyle.

I realized minimalism wasn’t about if I kept one pair of jeans or two. It wasn’t about the percentage of my belongings I’d donated or discarded. It was about a feeling. One that allowed me to breathe easily in our home and freed me to pursue what mattered.  When that feeling was present in the home, that was minimalist living. 

I worked to maintain this feeling and still do. If our home environment gets too “heavy,” then I know it’s time for more decluttering. A set of rules can’t tell me this, but listening to my intuition can. 

Minimalism just can’t be put in a box with a set of instructions that you must follow. 

And here’s why.

Here are 3 reasons why minimalism isn’t about rules:

1. Minimalism looks different for everyone 

Minimalism is not a one-size-fits-all movement. The variables that come with family size, vocation in life, and hobbies make minimalism look different for everyone. A single person living in a small apartment will need much less than a family of six in a 3,000 square foot home. A person who has a gift of hospitality and frequently welcomes people into his/her home will need more than someone who rarely hosts guests. Someone who is into a specific hobby, such as mountain climbing will need to own more equipment than someone whose hobby is writing. Anyone can live minimally, but they live their own variation.

2. Minimalism is not black and white

No right or wrong way exists to minimalism. No good or bad way. Minimalism isn’t moral. Rules such as “one-in-out” (meaning every time you bring something new into your home, something also must go out) doesn’t have to be followed to a T. Yes, you’ll want to declutter again soon to maintain a minimalist feel to your space, but if it’s not done immediately every time, that’s okay. Actually, however you choose to minimize and declutter is okay. It’s a process and a journey that you learn how to make work for you. It’s not black and white and doesn’t come with absolutes.

3. Minimalism is a mindset 

Minimalism is more about your mindset than the number of things in your home. It’s being able to enjoy what you do own without becoming preoccupied with what you don’t. Your goals and values aren’t “stuff driven,” and you’re free to prioritize the intangible (quality time with loved ones, a deeper spiritual life, memories made through experiences). Though your home may have more than what you need at times, you’re satisfied with what you have. You live from a place of gratitude and look to give more often than to acquire.

I no longer base our minimalist lifestyle on the number of things in our home, but on how we feel in it. 

When I look across the room do I feel peace or stress? When our girls play or do school can they focus or are random things throughout the home causing constant distraction? Am I preoccupied about where to put things or does everything have a place it can easily be returned to?

Minimalism is a lifestyle that looks different for each person who lives it. Though we can learn from others’ practices, there is no one-size-fits-all version. 

Minimalism, ultimately, is about freedom. Freedom to create your best life. And only you can know when you’ve arrived.

***

Julia Ubbenga is a freelance journalist whose teachings on minimalism, simplicity, and intentional living have reached thousands of people worldwide through her blog. Julia practices what she preaches in her Kansas City apartment home with her husband, two extremely lively young daughters, and newborn son. You can also find her on Instagram.