31 Clutter-free Ways to Motivate and Reward Your Child this School Year
We’re officially diving into homeschooling. It’s not what we had planned, but like many families, feel it’s a prudent choice—at least for this year.
As I’ve been looking at curriculum, perusing reading lists and math workbooks in hopes to figure out what a first grader needs to learn, an underlying concern has been circulating in my mind.
How, exactly, am I going to motivate our six-year-old to learn?
One answer that keeps popping up is simple: buy her stuff. Set up a rewards program where she can earn new toys for doing schoolwork.
We’ve been using Amazon for everything from diapers to dish soap in these days of avoiding public spaces. And that sound of the Amazon truck beeping outside our apartment, coupled with the mystery of what could be inside the delivered package, triggers sheer excitement in our girls (they hold their breath that it’s gum from Grandma).
So could that excitement be channeled into motivation to learn? Would our daughter work for Amazon deliveries? You bet. No question.
Although it could make my life much easier as a homeschooling mom, it doesn’t sit well with me.
And here’s why.
When children are constantly given stuff, they learn one response: more. Instead of becoming content with what they have, they learn that joy is found in accumulating possessions.
I know because I’ve been there. When our daughter was three—before we transitioned to a minimalist lifestyle—the toy aisle at Wal Mart was our frequent stop. She slept through the night in her own room! Great job, here’s a Barbie. She mastered potty training! Great job, here’s Disney Princess figurine set.
As our toy pile grew and grew, I was amazed at how quickly a once beloved toy became an afterthought. Before I knew it, she was asking for more. And more. I just couldn’t find the right toy to finally satisfy her.
Turns out that this type of parenting, coined as “material parenting” in a 2015 study from the Journal of Consumer Research, leaves children at risk of turning into materialistic adults.
Makes sense.
The study, based on a survey of 700 adults who answered questions about their childhood, found both conditional material rewards (like rewarding good behavior with a toy) and unconditional material rewards (like random gifts given regularly just because) leave children with a greater chance of embracing materialism.
When a child’s behavior is shaped with material goods, they begin to look toward material things for happiness. They may even judge their worth—and the worth of others—by material possessions into adulthood, the study found.
So if shaping a child’s behavior with stuff teaches materialism (and creates clutter), then I want no part of it.
Here are 31 ways to reward and motivate children using privileges and experiences instead of stuff. (Note: Family tine should not be contingent on good behavior. These ideas would supplement family time. For example, first we’ll do math and then go to a new park).
At home
Family movie night (child’s choice)
Baking new cookie recipe with parent (let child choose one off Pinterest)
Getting to choose dinner one evening
Getting to stay up 10 to 15 minutes past bedtime
Earning 10 to 15 more minutes of screen time
Ordering dinner in from a favorite restaurant
Family game night (child chooses game)
FaceTiming with a loved one
Bath with extra bubbles
Family dance party
Painting child’s face
Extra book at bedtime
Extra time outside
Playing catch
Painting nails
No chores pass or “day off”
Taking and printing photos
Outings
Trip to the zoo
Trip to the farmers market (child picks out a treat)
Going to a new park
Trip to an airport to watch planes from car
Going fishing with family
Camping
Spending a night at a hotel as a family
Driving through somewhere for lunch (like Chik-fil-a)
Driving through a coffee shop for a hot chocolate or steamer
Extra play time with a friend
Family bike ride
Choosing music in the car
Going to a museum
Going swimming
I encourage you to resist the temptation to reward your children with tangible things this school year. Keep the big picture in mind.
Even though a new plastic treasure might get your child to complete a math worksheet, the overall lesson taught isn’t a positive one.
Let’s choose experiences over stuff and raise children, who, when they’re older, will do likewise.
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Julia Ubbenga is a freelance journalist whose teachings on minimalism, simplicity, and intentional living have reached thousands of people worldwide through her blog. Julia practices what she preaches in her Kansas City apartment home with her husband, two extremely lively young daughters, and newborn son. You can also find her on Instagram.