Give your child the gift of mindfulness: 6 activities you can do today.
I read a quote recently that encouraged a lofty goal for the holiday season: “Presence over presents.”
Of course, I love this idea that being present to our spouse and children is one of the best gifts we can give them.
In today’s fast-paced world where many of us are addicted to busyness and are often looking for the next bigger and better thing instead of soaking in the present moment, being mindful isn’t always easy.
And that’s why mindfulness – paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally – is a practice. The more we work at it, like any skill, the easier it will come.
But what about our children? Do we ever stop to teach them about mindfulness? We should.
A 2017 study by Maynard revealed that school-aged children who engage in mindfulness practices regularly have higher cognitive (memory, attention) and social-emotional skills (higher self esteem, improved ability to manage stress and anxiety) than children who don’t.
Nadler’s 2017 study found that children age 7-9 who engaged in just 10 minutes of mindfulness practice self-reported significantly increased calmness post session.
Isn’t the ability to tap into calmness when stressed a tool we’d like to give our children? We teach our children how to master a baseball throw or play piano scales, all which take lots of practice. But how often do we practice the art of slowing down and calming down?
In the teenage years, mindfulness based stress management skills are increasingly important. A 2016 study by Johnstone reported that of a sample of 10,000 adolescents, 49.5% reported an incident of mental health problems. And 30% of these teenagers surveyed reported feeling overwhelmed, depressed or sad due to stress.
So we’ve seen that mastering mindfulness can benefit our children both now and in the future. But how do we teach mindfulness to a child?
Here are 6 researched-based mindfulness activities for children, adapted from the work of speech therapists Jennifer Llado and Brenda Lovette:
Raisin Activity
This activity promotes awareness using the 5 senses. Give your child a raisin and take one yourself. Hold it in the palm of your hand. Have your child study it and describe it. How does it look? How does it feel? How does it smell? Does it make a sound? And finally, how does it taste? Your child’s attention becomes focused deeply on one object, building his ability to concentrate.
Glitter Jar
Fill a jar with water and glitter. Invite your child to shake the jar and watch as the glitter swirls and settles. Then, tell the child to imagine the glitter is her thoughts settling down just like the glitter. This is a calming activity for children and easy to reference in real-life situations when children need help calming down.
Bubbles
Begin by blowing bubbles with your child. Watch what happens. Do they float, pop immediately, or get stuck together? Are some bubbles bigger, smaller, slower, or faster? Talk about how we can watch our thoughts like bubbles. Practice describing some of your thoughts just like you described the bubbles. Now have your child try.
Buddy Breathing
Have your child choose a stuffed animal. Laying down, place the stuffed animal on your child’s belly. Have your child move the stuffed animal up and down with her breath. Explain the stuffed animal goes out and in just like your child’s breath. This addresses attention and self-regulation. My 5-year-old daughter and I like to do this exercise together. We try to see how long we can buddy breathe and usually end up laughing by the end of it.
The Star Body Scan
Tell your child to imagine he has a star that is always with him. Tell him to imagine the star’s light is on his toes, then his legs, and continue to name locations moving up the body like a body scan. You can use an actual flashlight with younger children to make the exercise more concrete. To increase body awareness, ask your child if the star’s light has found places of tension or relaxation. Then have him intentionally relax those areas that are tense. It’s likely you’ll find patterns of where your child holds his tension.
The Weather Report
Talk to your child about how the weather outside is like weather inside us (“Sometimes you feel sunny and sometimes you feel cloudy.”). Ask your child what her internal weather is like and help her look at her weather with curiosity. Explain the weather outside changes just like your weather inside. And that we are not defined by our feelings, which always pass. Tell her “You are not a rainstorm, that’s just the kind of weather you are experiencing.”
Try practicing one of these activities with your child for 10 minutes daily. Take mindfulness training for your child as seriously as you do sports or academic work. Increased focus, self-regulation, and stress management are all skills that can help our children live a more meaningful, present, and happy life.
Resources for mindfulness training with kids (click on the links below):
Videos
Breathing Buddies (Daniel Goleman)
Books
Websites