Why is it So Hard to Stop Buying More Stuff?

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On a drive to a friend’s house in North Kansas City this week, movement to the right caught my eye. 

Emerging along a parallel road was a fleet of Amazon vans. At least 12 large, dark delivery vans stamped with Amazon’s blue smile paraded by, each off to deliver loads of stuff to the Northland. I held my breath. The scene was almost militant like. 

“How many of those online purchases were planned and how many were impulse buys?” I wondered. 

An article in the USA Today calculated that to live the American Dream a family would need $103,357 a year. The American Dream requires a $275,000 house, 4WD SUV, restaurants, vacations, entertainment, and even a maxed out 401K plan. These material things, the article implied, are the ticket to happiness. 

And that’s the line we are constantly fed.

So we purchase more in search of happiness – a bigger home, a newer phone, the latest wardrobe, a better car. 

So many of us are caught up in this spending cycle, though research shows buying stuff doesn’t bring lasting happiness. 

The science behind buying “stuff” is interesting. A novel item becomes ours, sparking a dopamine surge in the reward center of the brain. This happy, positive feeling is temporary as the novelty of the item wears off. But our brain remembers that feeling and wants to repeat the rush. So we buy again. And again. 

We are wired to seek repetitive pleasure in a society that pressures us to buy more (and makes it easy to do so). It’s easy to see why buying stuff is so difficult. 

So how do we break the cycle? How do we find deeper happiness outside of purchasing?

The trick, according to Dr. Ann-Christine Duhaime, a neurosurgeon who has investigated the connections between brain chemistry and consumption, is to work with your brain’s reward system to change behavior, not against it. 

For me, I’ve realized that maintaining an uncluttered home that I can breathe in is more rewarding than filling it with nice things at a rate that reflects the “American Dream.” I’ve found that walking into a clutter free room can provide a dopamine rush that parallels opening a newly purchased amazon package. I’ve observed that giving away things I don’t use anymore can make me as happy as acquiring more. 

The next time you’re tempted to buy something new (that you know you don’t really need and won’t bring lasting happiness), take action first. Try giving away a few items, clearing clutter from a space and breathing deeply, or simply engaging with something at home that you already have (like one of those books you hang onto but never pick up).

Your brain will feel a reward similar to spending. A deeper contentment will take hold, as the desire to seek pleasures that fail to satisfy lessens.

So think twice before entering into the spending cycle. Understand that we’re wired to do it. But know you can overcome impulse. And know that lasting satisfaction doesn’t come in an Amazon box.